First, Thank you Andrea for making a space for us to gather. Been wanting to join this kind of group and I have shared my stories through your IGS.
I was an abuser. I realize it wasn't easy to be honest about your mistakes, that you were once a toxic for someone else's life. However, for me, it was the biggest step to be a better person. Fix that problem after you discover the mistake. Some friends were asking me the same question all over again, you were in love with him. Why did you hurt him?
I was mentally abusive to a guy I was once with. It was ugly, full of tears and terrors for me. It ended pretty bad, I posted some of his private pictures to threaten him, I shared his secrets with his family and his issues. It ruined both of us, he couldn't be who he was. It ended as he chose to give up with me, he thought I could never be fix. I just wanted to win. It was for good tho. I, now, have discovered that I have attachment issues and my relationship with him helped me a lot, to understand what I actually needed. I am in so much better place now. And I hope he is too.
I loved that guy, however I was afraid of losing him so I chose to take power in my relationship. Then I was right, I won, without realizing I lost him because of it too.